In the past I have written blogs about preparing to go on TV and assessing your motivation to do so, but after the current waves in the media I felt that it would be helpful to create a more comprehensive guide regarding this process.
The rush that runs through a body when receiving an unexpected call from a person who says, “I am a producer for ‘fill in the blank’ and I’m calling to see if you would be interested in being on our show.” Is a rush I NEVER, absolutely, NEVER, thought I’d experience in my life. When I first started working in sexuality and gender education and also sharing my story, my primary goal was to educate the broader public and maintain accountability for the information that I shared. When the media started calling I realized this would broaden my outreach and market and after a few experiences now, I hope to be able to continue to educate; however, I realize that education isn’t necessarily what media is looking for to raise their ratings, particularly television.
Over the course of the past nine years I have learned a lot about television shows, the interview process and how to prepare. From this process, the most important thing I’ve learned is to ALWAYS do my research and to never fully trust what the producers are saying versus what they will actually do, so here are some guidelines and tips if this ever happens to you.
If the media inquiry has come in via email or you receive a voicemail, then before responding I suggest doing the following:
- First, look up the show and see what has previously been produced
- Check to see who is the person that will interview you
- Observe what type of interview style they use
- Take note of how people who appear on the show are portrayed
- Find out who the target audience is
- Observe whether the show is filmed live or aired at a later date
- And lastly, is it in front of an audience or is it in a small studio with just the interviewer.
From this research you will be able to assess if you feel like you would be the right fit for the show, and if it is worth both parties time to hold a discussion. For example, if a day-time talk show calls me that has the history of staging shock-value content and bodyguards with bald heads on each end of the stage, then it is a show that may not be seeking the approach I feel comfortable with regarding education the public about gender identity and expression. Shock-and-Awe shows are not the right fit for me, but they may be for other people. On the otherhand, if a show has the history of having well-versed content, respectful audiences, and interesting dialogue, then I will be interested in moving forward and talking with them.
Having the time to do this research before talking to a producer is the ideal situation, but sometimes these inquiries can catch you off guard and the show is moving fast to book people. So the second most important thing to do is think about what it is you hope to accomplish by appearing on a television show and then writing up a set of questions that you want to remember to ask the producer.
I always ask myself: What is the one thing I would like to accomplish? The one thing I hope to say, no matter what? The answer to these questions depends on where I am at in life, and the work that I’m currently in the process of producing. My goal could be to simply talk about my own transition story and try to help raise awareness about the need for family support along with individual acceptance. Or it could be to talk about my book, the writing process and what I hope it will accomplish with readers. Or it could be something completely different.
Next, comes the questions for the producer, which for me are as follows:
- Why is the show covering “X” topic?
- Why are you interested in me?
- Will there be other people interviewed? If so, will it be a panel or individual interviews?
- How much time will be allotted to my segment?
- Will I be asked pre-interview questions?
- Can I have a list of the potential questions your host will be asking?
- Do you have any suggested colors for wardrobe? (I know this may sound vain, but sets have different colors, you don’t want to blend in or be washed out!)
Typically after you complete this initial screening process you will be called again either by a booking person to confirm your appearance and travel, or by a pre-interviewer. It is at this time where I set out words or phrases that I feel are appropriate or inappropriate. It is your time to do some education and advocacy or how you are portrayed to the public, in the end this advocacy isn’t only for yourself, but hopefully for future people on the show.
For example, I was on a show in the past that wanted to use the language, “Born Women” and I asked that they change it to “Assigned Female”. Them agreeing to do this was a sign that they were willing to work with me. If they would have fought me on this, I may have backed away from the show. We then went through some other language and I worked to educate the producer on what is appropriate and what is seen as offensive. For example, they wanted to do a little shock value at the beginning and have the audience guess who on stage was, “born assigned female”. I said that I did not feel comfortable with that scenario as it felt like a carnival guess who game. There was a push to still do this for audience engagement, but after a couple of us stated that we would not go on the show, the opening was changed.
With these negotiations and education, it may be helpful to send the producer the guide for journalist from GLAAD.
Now, keep in mind, nothing is perfect. This is TV folks.
Television works on ratings, commercial dollars and subscribers. Depending on what show you are going on, what your goal is, and how it is formatted, things may not come out exactly as you would have liked. I feel like things rarely come out exactly as I would have liked.
What can create these barriers or dissatisfaction in performance? At present time I feel one of the biggest barriers of TV coverage relating to transgender issues is that both people that work in TV and the broader community are still very unfamiliar with what exactly being transgender means. I don’t believe the broader community should be shamed for this, I’ve also found that the shows that put me on the air are really trying to be do a nice job with the shows, but sometimes are just a bit misguided. Some may say, well the show should be more proactive and educate themselves before they cover a story, which I can agree with the idea that we should do some education before speaking on something, but keep in mind, if they have no knowledge, they are starting from square one so their questions will also be at that level. This is why again, if when talking with a producer, you say, “I’m really excited to be on the show. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of shows always cover the same topics. Instead of what surgery I’ve had, can a question be asked about accessing healthcare?”
Bringing up questions and educating the producers can create opportunities and expand minds in a way that may move the public away from conversations about body parts and toward the emotional and personal issues that may affect an individual or the transgender community as a whole.
Another barrier may be your nerves. I was a bumbling mess on my first TV interview. It is painful for me to watch, and a little embarrassing. Practice and experience will help you in your future interviews, meaning your first few may be a little messy or jumbled.
The last thing that may impact your interview is whether you are part of a panel or doing a one-on-one interview. Being on a panel increases the likelihood that you will be talked over or interrupted which will throw off your train of thought or momentum. If the person that does the interviews has the tendency to cut people off and jump around to different topics that will also prove to be a challenge.
Then there are those moments where a question is asked and inside your brain you think, “Did that really just happen?” And before you know it, an answer has slipped out and the opportunity to correct it has left. Still to this day, the thing I need to work on the most is interjecting or correcting someone if they have said something that is either misleading or offensive.
Here are respectful ways to handle what you may feel are invasive or insensitive comments and questions:
Interviewer: “So, Ryan, you used to be a woman. Are there parts of your life before you transitioned that you miss?”
Me: “Well, ‘interviewer’ this is a question I get asked often and one that I find myself having to do a lot of education on. I know people may not know it, but this question is one that makes me feel uncomfortable. I say this because even though I was in a female body, and even when I thought the only choice I had was to be a ‘woman,’ I never felt like one, and in reality, I never was a woman. I was born assigned female and raised female, but my gender identity has always been male. As far as parts that I have missed, when thinking back to myself prior to my transition and the pain, discomfort, sadness and anger that I experienced, it wasn’t a life for me. Also I think it is important to remember that I’ve changed aspects of my body, but I’m still the same person with the same memories, sense of humor, and sometimes social awkwardness.”
Here is another example:
Interviewer: “Have you had a lower surgery?”
Me: “As part of my work as an educator, I will answer your question and say that for me, personally undergoing all the surgeries was important. Having said that, this is a question that I encourage people not to ask because one, our gender does not start between our legs, even our biological sex cannot be determined solely by our genitals. Sex is a composition of our hormones, chromosomes, along with internal and external anatomy. Second, oftentimes filters are lost when talking with transgender individuals, but if you were to interview someone who was not trans, would you ask them about their genitals?”
If my tone was non-defensive, open and caring the interviewer usually has an a-ha moment and realizes how asking about lower surgery can be invasive. If our conversation continues I may add, “Having done this work as long as I have, I have noticed a sincere curiosity around people who are transgender and their physical bodies. I can see the fascination with how science and medicine can work and the internal wonderment of what it would be like to transition, to have an altered body. I get it. I was in the same place before I transitioned. But I feel the problem with us always focusing on this topic is that it keeps us from hearing about the emotional journey and the personal identity and keeps us in a place of sexualizing trans people.”
Empathy, humor, humility and charm always help when doing education and may ease the interviewer from feeling like they need to be on the defensive.
So here we are, at the end of the show, it is time to go off the air and return to our lives away from the spotlight. As the high begins to wear off a sudden lump may form in your throat or stomach. A slip of anxiety may quicken the pace of your heart. Or thoughts start twirling around in your head that keeps you up at night. You may be thinking one, or all, of the following:
- “Agh! Did I really say that?”
- “I wish I could have said this . . . “
- “I wish I could have had more time.”
- “I wish we could have covered this topic.”
This is normal. It can happen when doing public speaking, after an interview with a magazine, or on television. Take a breath and try to calm your nerves. If the interview wasn’t live, do know that it can be edited and either something you felt was really important got cut, or it was edited in a way that portrays something you said completely off-point.
There are risks to being open to the media. There are even bigger risks if you are being open to media about your personal lives. So when it comes to your private life, your relationships with your family, and your safety, please consider if TV is right for you. Please think beyond experiencing your two, five, fifteen or twenty minutes of fame and ask yourself, will doing this help me, my work, or my relationships, or will it create more barriers?
If, after viewing the show, you feel there was something they did that could have been done better or completely changed. Reach out to the person you were working with. Try to hold a conversation with them and educate them on what you were feeling and what you hope would be done differently the next time.
I hope this guide is helpful for you. I also hope that as you move through your own experiences you’ll begin to expand on what I have developed and build a greater resource for transgender narratives.
